A Fundraiser’s Guide to Small Talk

Social gatherings — cocktail parties, receptions, galas, sporting events — are a necessary part of growing our professional network as fundraisers. While some consider this a perk of the profession, others secretly dread having to engage in awkward small talk.

I will be the first to admit that cocktail conversation is not my favorite thing. But over the years, I’ve learned that casual banter can lead to opportunities. In fact, I regard it now as a beneficial part of the cultivation process. If you find mingling uncomfortable, here are some suggestions to ease the pain and sharpen your social game.

Have a Plan

Before the event, review the RSVP list. Then, think about what you want to accomplish. Do you want to introduce yourself to someone you’ve been trying to meet? Thank a donor for their recent gift? Provide an update to an interested prospect? You will feel better going in with some desired outcomes rather than aimlessly wandering a hotel lobby.

Take a Walk

Many of these events take place in the evening after a full day of work. Take a brisk walk or do something to ward off fatigue. You want to be fresh and ready to engage. Also, eat a snack or a small dinner beforehand. It’s hard to work a room balancing an appetizer plate in one hand and a drink in another.

Prepare Conversation Starters

Some find small talk banal. And, indeed, you’re probably not going to achieve world peace, but there is something to be said about warmly greeting an acquaintance or reconnecting with a prospective donor.

To avoid an awkward pause after introductions, think of some discussion topics before you enter the room. (And, yes, you can recycle these for other conversations). Since you’re attending the same event, you may have more in common than you think. 

Leverage that common ground to spark a conversation.

Another tip: Ask questions. Most people love to talk about themselves. It only takes one solid open-ended question, and you’re off to the races.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Don’t hang with your fellow development officers or the volunteers you see regularly. Use this opportunity to introduce yourself to people you don’t know — your boss’s boss or the esteemed honoree at the party.

Do a good deed and introduce yourself to a stranger. As awkward as you may feel, there’s probably someone who is more uncomfortable than you. It’s not always about advancing your own social agenda.

Work the Room

Do not park at the closest bar, buffet table or exit. My strategy is to enter and circle. Get a lay of the land, and make a note of who you’d like to greet. Of course, you may enter into conversations along the way, but the point is to maximize your opportunities, and to do so, you need to know who is there.

Volunteer

If the thought of talking to strangers still terrifies you, offer to volunteer at the event. Chances are the organizer needs help with registration, selling raffle tickets or handing out programs. If you are new to your job, this is an easy way to meet others and introduce yourself.

Remember Your Manners

Make sure you thank the host before leaving (a follow-up note is also a nice touch). Don’t overindulge in food or drink. Avoid controversial subjects (religion and politics come to mind). And try not to monopolize people or conversations.

Small talk doesn’t have to be daunting. By using some of these simple strategies, you can transform what seems like a trivial activity into something genuinely useful and rewarding.

The preceding blog was provided by an individual unaffiliated with NonProfit PRO. The views expressed within do not directly reflect the thoughts or opinions of NonProfit PRO.