What Tinder Can Teach Nonprofits

Nonprofits can learn a lot from dating apps like Tinder — not about romance, but about building relationships. The secret to strong communities isn’t more marketing or staff outreach; it’s connecting constituents to each other in meaningful, one-to-one ways. Read on to learn why your cause needs to think less like a fundraiser and more like a matchmaker.

We all know social media has turned the world on its head, revolutionizing how we connect. Today, people are making connections in ways that would have been unthinkable just a few decades ago. What does this shift mean for nonprofits?

Let’s start with some data. A 2019 PNAS article by Michael Rosenfeld, Reuben Thomas and Sonia Hausen revealed something extraordinary: Meeting online has become the most popular way for heterosexual couples in the U.S. to connect. This isn’t just a trend — it’s a fundamental shift in how we build relationships.

Here's a summary from the paper: 

“We present data from a nationally representative 2017 survey of American adults. For heterosexual couples in the United States, meeting online has become the most popular way couples meet, eclipsing meeting through friends for the first time around 2013… We find that Internet meeting is displacing the roles that family and friends once played in bringing couples together.” 

What Does ‘Swiping Right’ Mean for Us?

A community is, at its core, a network of one-to-one relationships. Whether it’s a shared passion for gardening (Katrina), senior volleyball (also Katrina) or animal rights activism (Otis), people find meaning in these connections. And here’s the point: Online dating apps have mastered the art of creating instant, personal connections. They’ve eliminated the need for bars, blind dates or even that trusty puppy at the park as a conversation starter.

The takeaway? Nonprofits need to make it easier for constituents to find each other — one to one.

Think about it: The strength of a community isn’t in email open rates, web traffic or even fundraising dollars. It’s in the number of authentic, person-to-person connections. Yet, for most nonprofits, fostering those connections is an afterthought. Unplanned. Unsupported. Unmeasured.

People Want Love, Not Another Fundraising Pitch

Here’s a reality check: The online world has conditioned people to expect immediate, meaningful interactions. Dating apps like Bumble and Tinder are successful because they fulfill this need instantly. Meanwhile, many nonprofits still focus on creating connections between constituents and staff — not between constituents themselves.

Social psychology research speaks to this. Consider the theory of social identity — we define ourselves in part by the groups we belong to. But we’re most engaged when those groups facilitate direct, personal connections. For example, political campaign volunteers who connect with like-minded peers are far more likely to stick around and contribute more. They’re not just showing up for the cause; they’re showing up for each other.

Constituents Are Getting Better Offers

Let’s face it: People have more options for finding community than ever before. Whether it’s joining a Facebook group, participating in a subreddit or swiping right on someone who loves the same obscure band, the competition for connection is fierce. And here’s the plain truth of it — nonprofits haven’t adapted.

We still treat community-building like it’s 1990, with digital newsletters and staff-centric programming. Meanwhile, dating apps have created slick, user-friendly platforms that help people connect in seconds. It’s not about romance (although there’s some of that in the nonprofit world, too); it’s about facilitating every kind of love — shared interests, values and beliefs.

We Make Getting a Date Really Hard

Sure, our tools might be digital, but our approach is outdated. Marketing campaigns often feel like broadcast journalism — one-way communication that doesn’t foster real relationships. And when we do seek personal connections, we focus on the wrong ones.

Remember, constituents don’t want a relationship with your staff. They want relationships with others who share their passions. This is the essence of communal reinforcement in social psychology: People’s beliefs and behaviors are strengthened when they see others doing the same things.

Communal reinforcement is a powerful psychological concept that explains how beliefs, values and behaviors are strengthened when people see them echoed by others in their community. Think about the sense of validation you feel when someone shares your passion for a cause or affirms your commitment to a movement — it’s energizing. This phenomenon is why group dynamics are so influential in everything from social activism to fitness trends. When constituents connect with like-minded peers, their engagement deepens because they’re not just supporting an abstract mission; they’re actively participating in a shared identity. 

Just how important is this sense of shared identity? Think of a volunteer who meets someone at an event and later joins a group chat to share experiences. That relationship is far more likely to keep them engaged than an email, text or phone call from a staffer in your organization.

The Path Forward

Until nonprofits start facilitating these one-to-one connections as seamlessly as dating apps, we’ll continue to struggle. People want instant, easy access to like-minded individuals. If we can’t provide that, they’ll turn to platforms that can.

Right now, we’re the equivalent of the old-school, dimly lit bar. It’s nostalgic, sure, but nobody’s swiping right on us. It’s time to rethink how we connect people — not just to our missions, but to each other.

Let’s give them what they really want: community, belonging, and, yes, even a little love.

The preceding post was provided by an individual unaffiliated with NonProfit PRO. The views expressed within do not directly reflect the thoughts or opinions of NonProfit PRO.