3 Wrongs in Fundraising Writing

In copy from someone who had just returned from an African country that was experiencing severe famine, I once wrote, "My heart broke when I held that child who was so obviously dying from hunger." The letter signer objected and told me, "My heart doesn't break; I feel moved ..." I'm sorry, but when you talk about holding a dying child, you need to show some real emotion. Your reader needs to feel your agony and want to do something to prevent one more needless death.