4 Tips to Attract and Retain LGBTQ+ Donors for Your Cause

For generations, those who identified as gay did not marry or have children. Now baby boomers are part of the greatest wealth transfer, leaving their children their wealth. But that’s not always the case for LGBTQ+ boomers in the Stonewall Generation — named for the Stonewall Riots, which lit a spark for the gay rights movement when police raided a New York City gay bar in 1969. 

"For gay people, who sometimes have tenuous relationships with their families, there is a notion of chosen family — that you surround yourself with people that can fill in and support you,” Dominic M. Pepper, CFRE, executive director at the Lesher Family Foundation, said. “It's an opportunity for nonprofits to be a part of that chosen family, and I believe that's a really powerful opportunity.”

Not only are there planned giving opportunities, but the percentage of American adults who identify as LGBTQ+ has doubled since Gallup first began measuring it in 2012. And the younger the generation, the larger the percentage, with nearly 21% of Gen Z and almost 11% of millennials identifying as LGBTQ+. So, how can nonprofits connect with this growing demographic?

Pepper, along with Renee Columbo, chief development officer, and Leah Munnelly, deputy director of development at New York City’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender (LGBT) Community Center, shared tips to help LGBTQ+ donors feel welcomed in your organization during their AFP ICON session, “Belonging and Exclusion: Creating Space for Growing LGBTQ Donors.”

Here are four tips they shared to make sure you’re engaging your LGBTQ+ donors regardless of your mission or cause. 

1. Don’t Assume LGBTQ+ Donors Are Single-Issue Donors

Though LGBTQ+ may be particularly interested in LGBTQ+ issues, they likely have other causes they care deeply about as well.

“Obviously, a gay person can get cancer, so they clearly can be a grateful patient if you're a hospital system,” Munnelly said. “A lesbian goes to college. She can certainly become a donor for her alma mater. To assume that there is just this one issue that matters is a fallacy.”

At the LGBT Community Center, the focus has shifted to a wider diversity, equity and inclusion lens of how it does its work. For Columbo, her personal giving also follows that viewpoint whether it's the Wild Bird Fund or the NAACP Legal Defense Fund.

“I personally give to a lot of causes as a lesbian, but I do keep my ears and eyes open when I see marketing communications, and I look at their boards, and I look at the leadership and wonder 'Do they have the same values as I do?'” Columbo said. 

Donor relations are important, but so are sticking to your core values. While standing up for racial equity issues in addition to queer, trans and gender-expansive liberation is part of the LGBT Community Center’s DNA, that may not be the case at all nonprofits. Columbo experienced it first-hand at her then-employer during the racial unrest in 2020.

“The silence from almost every corner was just deafening,” she said. “... Not just donors — people notice silence. And I think that's one of the tricky conversations to have with leadership at organizations that aren't LGBTQ organizations.”

2. Reflect Your Diverse Donor Pool at Fundraising Events

Having LGBTQ+ donors in your donor pool might be step No. 1, but to build relationships with this cohort of donors, it’s important to make them feel included and represented within your organization and at events. After all, there was a time when gathering in public was an act of defiance for the LGBTQ+ community, Munnelly said.

“In a lot of ways the event is the mission,” she said. “And if you are looking to diversify your donor pool and attract people, you need to recognize that events play a really special role in the queer community.” 

LGBTQ+ donors often share with the panelists how different an LGBT Community Center event was in comparison to a university alumni event. It’s one thing to invite LGBTQ+ donors to your event, it’s another thing to make sure donors who are recognized and uplifted at the event are diverse — and that includes inclusivity for LGBTQ+ attendees. 

“If you are looking to attract more queer donors to your organization, you do need to make sure that those events aren't just a performative invite. They're going to want to see themselves reflected up there on stage.” 

3. Use Correct Pronouns

Some may brush off the need to frequently disclose pronouns, but it matters to people. Just like people don’t like their names spelled wrong, your donors don’t want your organization to misgender them or assume they’re in a heterosexual relationship. 

“It's not jumping the gun on these things because it just sets those interactions up with donors or with prospects just in an awkward manner,” Munnelly said. “And there's definitely a signal if you introduce yourself with your pronouns, if you have your pronouns in your email signature as that signal of 'Oh, OK. You get it. You speak the language that I'm speaking.’ And it's just a really subtle indicator that you are aware of society right now.” 

Though it’s a sign of respect to use proper pronouns, mistakes can happen, Columbo said. 

“I personally do sometimes trip up on ‘they.’ My brain hears plural, and I'm struggling with plural, but I keep at it. I apologize. I move on. I keep it up and I'm getting better at it. I really am.”

4. Remove Honorifics From Your Database

Same-sex marriage has only been legal across the U.S. for eight years. Some LGBTQ+ couples have been together a lot longer than that, but it might not be properly labeled in your donor database. Munnelly noted that results in unmerged households being discovered nearly every day at nonprofits.

“And I think it's important to acknowledge that a lot of our database practices, a lot of our screening practices are all with the idea that 'Oh, I'm looking for Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Wilson,' she said. “And that's just not how it operates in the queer community.”

Additionally, women may get married later in life and even after marriage, don’t always take their spouses’ last names, pushing Munnelly to recommend stop using honorifics completely. 

“These issues, these solutions, these challenges, these successes, they are not restricted to just queer donors,” she said. “I certainly know — even just in the last 10 years being in the world of nonprofits — there is a difference that I've seen of husbands saying, ‘I can't make a decision. I have to talk to my wife first.’”