Columnist confesses: 'I Read the National Enquirer!'

● They have multiple elements. Nearly every headline has a kicker (above) and a subhead (below) to complete the narrative arc of the headline. This allows a headline to really tell the story — not just label it.

● They are about human relationships. Enquirer headlines go out of their way to identify relationships: Words like “hubby,” “mom” and “boyfriend” are in nearly every headline because those things are intrinsically interesting to just about everyone.