Anatomy of a Control: Making Anger Work

“You need a streak of outrage. You need a sense of injustice. Without outrage, I don’t know how the hell you can do this work.”

— Roger Craver, of Craver, Mathews, Smith & Co.to Denny Hatch, 1993

Since its founding in 1961, Amnesty International has saved more than 50,000 lives — potential victims of murder, torture and execution by some of the nastiest regimes on earth. Considering what’s happening in the Middle East, Africa and even here in the United States, this organization’s work will never be done. If I had to pick one organization for which Roger Craver’s words are apropos, it would be Amnesty International.

The control package
The Amnesty International USA control is a model of elegance and simplicity both in its copy and the way the elements interact. Written by celebrated freelance copywriter Jerry Huntsinger a decade ago, it has been, in the words of Craver’s Michael P. Rooney, “the undisputed control ever since.”

The outer envelope is a plain, white No. 10 with no window and no teaser copy. The cornercard in red has the Amnesty International logo — a candle of hope surrounded by barbed wire — along with the name and address of the organization. The nonprofit 9.3 cents postage is a red, metered indicia. Envelopes don’t come any simpler than this.

Inside are five additional elements, the main one being a four-page letter consisting of two nested sheets printed front and back. The only color is the light-blue printing of the Amnesty International name, address, phone number and URL at the bottom. Everything else is black.

Printed in a Times font, every sentence is its own separate paragraph. No gray walls of type here. The reader’s eye moves easily from sentence to sentence and page to page.

A call to action
A unique feature is found in paragraph six of the letter, where the prospect is asked to take action. It’s not a pitch to send money; it is, rather, a request to sign and return the enclosed “Message of Hope” card.

Reading that, potential donors most likely will lay aside the letter and search for the 6-inch-by-61⁄4-inch card (folds once to 3 inches by 61⁄4 inches) containing the following message written in French, English, Spanish, Arabic and Kanji: “Do not be discouraged. You are not forgotten.”

How does anyone refuse to send a card of hope to a prisoner rotting in a foul jail somewhere across the world? A person who is not moved by that simple request has the hide of a rhinoceros — especially when you read this line in the P.S.:

“And even if the card never actually reaches the prisoner, when the jailers or those responsible are deluged with a flood of these cards, they are going to realize that they are no longer operating in secrecy. The word is out. Their prisoner is in the public eye. This could result in freedom or better conditions for the prisoner.”

Once the reader is persuaded to put something in the reply envelope, it’s not too much trouble to put something else in it, right? Like a check or a credit card number? But the ask doesn’t even come until Page 4.

The letter has no Johnson box or headline. Just the lead sentence/paragraph: “I regret to inform you that we are faced with a severe crisis here at Amnesty International.”

Slow and steady
The letter starts slowly and gathers momentum. The first page is the story of Constantino: “For years he was held in a tiny cell; his only human contact was with his torturers.”

In his own words, Constantino describes the ghastly circumstances of his incarceration: “On Christmas Eve the door to my cell opened, and the guard tossed in a crumpled piece of paper. I moved as best I could to pick it up.”

That crumpled piece of paper was a “Message of Hope” card just like the one the reader is being asked to sign and return.

“Those words saved my life, and my sanity,” Constantino wrote. “Eight months later I was set free.”

On Pages 2 and 3 of the letter, the anger, outrage and guilt are ramped up as AIUSA Executive Director William F. Schulz describes the horrors faced by many prisoners around the world and how Amnesty International is dealing with those abuses. Included are the organization’s demands for proper treatment and threats of public humiliation for governments that fail to treat detainees humanely.

Schulz writes, “ … if you lived in certain other parts of the world … your life might be far different, especially if you were a person who exercised the voice of your conscience and opposed an immoral and repressive government.”

“There but for the grace of God go I,” the reader thinks and thanks his lucky stars that he’s an American endowed by the “Creator with inherent and inalienable rights.”

Page 3 closes with another request to sign and return the enclosed card.

And Page 4 is the ask. It’s interesting in that the recipient is asked to “send a gift of $10, $15, $25, or even $50 … ,” while the following paragraph states, “And, as a member of Amnesty, you will receive our informative quarterly newsmagazine, Amnesty Now.”

In the mousetype at the bottom of the order form are the following lines: “Membership dues are $25. For senior citizens, students and people with limited income, dues are $15.”

As founder and publisher of Who’s Mailing What! newsletter, I’ve looked at literally tens of thousands of mailings in the past 20 years. Never do I recall an organization calling a contribution both a “gift” and “dues.”

Late copywriting guru Dick Benson once said that if a magazine changed from a standard subscription model to a membership organization (such as Smithsonian and National Geographic), it has a huge advantage over its competitors. Under Federal Trade Commission rules, a magazine must send renewal notices that ask for a payment, while a membership organization must send a bill for dues. Being able to bill for dues, Benson said, would increase response by up to 15 percent.

The suggested amounts for the gift/dues are listed with the $25 circled and a handwritten note underneath and highlighted in yellow that reads, “A gift in this amount is urgently needed!” This line ties directly to the first paragraph, which talks about the “severe crisis.”

The business reply envelope lays on a little guilt trip of its own. At the top in a handwritten font is the line: “Your first-class stamp will save us money for Human Rights work!” The final element in the package is a black, blue and white decal for a car or parlor window.

Contributing editor Denny Hatch is a consultant, freelance copywriter and author of the books “Priceline.com: A Layman’s Guide to Manipulating the Media”; “Method Marketing”; “Million Dollar Mailings”; and “2,239 Tested Secrets for Direct Marketing Success” (co-author). Anatomy of a Control highlights successful direct marketing mailings. E-mail dennyhatch@aol.com.