Just Slightly Contrarian: Hey, Will You Give a Guy a Lift?

On weekends, I used to hitchhike from Illinois to Kansas to see my girlfriend, and whenever my thumb successfully caused a motorist to pull off onto the side of the road, I would say, quite sadly, “Hey, will you give a guy a lift?”

Today, I’m still looking for a good lift. A good lift note, that is. Something to give my letter a boost. To move it on down the road … (Ever notice how analogies break down when carried out to their logical conclusions?)

Anyway, a lift note is much like a P.S. It serves the same function, only it’s supercharged. I guarantee you, it gets read before anything else in the package — especially if it’s yellow.

Why yellow? Because yellow works. Duh.

Perhaps you remember 30 years ago or so when magazine publishers started using a little, folded yellow lift note that said on the outside, “In case you decided to say ‘no’ to this offer … “ And on the inside was a special message from the publisher telling you why the subscription offer was so great.

Yes, that technique still works today. But if you think through the purpose of a lift note, you can come up with several more innovative and strategic methods of using it. For example:

1. Sell the response premium. Hype it. Tell them what it weighs. How it smells. What it feels like when they touch it. How they can use it. Sure, you’ve already mentioned those things in your letter, but the lift note drives the message home. Hangs it on the ceiling. Nails it to the wall. Saves it to the hard drive.

2. Give your donor some serious stroking. Remind him that he’s receiving this letter because he is really, really, really special. Unique. One of a kind. Smart. Sophisticated. Generous. A progressive thinker. A compassionate soul. Tell her that, unlike most other people, as in the case of the good Samaritan, “You don’t turn aside and go in the other direction. Instead, you go to the trouble to cross the road and lend a helping hand.”

Flattery? Sure. And why not? Who doesn’t like to be flattered? I sure do. Don’t tell me I’m short, fat and stupid. Or even tall, skinny and selfish as a dung beetle on road kill. Tell me how wonderful I am. I’ll be your friend for life.

3. Report the most urgent breaking news! “This just in from the Philippines: Super Typhoon Sara ravishes the island. Thank God the children are safe, in spite of the roof blowing away in the middle of the night.” Or, if you’re dealing with a legislative appeal, report on the most recent vote in the Senate. Or, if oceans are your thing, tell about the most recent oil spill in pristine Glacier Bay.

And as you write, remember that you’re dealing with a beautiful paradox. The yellow lift note pretends to be a supplement to the letter. In reality, because your package is always scanned before it’s read and the lift note is always scanned first, it really is the lead-in for the letter. Think backwards.

4. Print a testimonial. Use a contributor who is enthusiastic about your charity. Or quote a series of five or six testimonial sentences, each from a different person and each in a different font, so they look like they came from real people.

5. Offer a money-back guarantee! Am I daft? A money-back guarantee? Why not? Is a nonprofit organization so sanctimonious as to think that it never, ever makes a mistake or displeases a donor? Test it sometime. Obviously, your boss is going to hate the idea, and so will the chairman of the board and all of the directors and the staff and the business office. But, what the hell, stop trying to be popular. If you’re sensitive, you’re in the wrong field … and it never hurts to try.

6. Have a celebrity sign the lift note. Maybe just a couple of paragraphs. Maybe a little stamp-sized photo. An endorsement. A device to give the prospective donor a feeling of confidence before she reads the letter.

7. Puff up your splendid reputation. Has your organization ever won the Nobel Peace Prize? Or been honored by a U.S. president? Or featured on “The Today Show”? If you’re impressive, then puff it. If you’re not … at least sound impressive. Surely, you’re doing something better than anyone else.

8. Urge donors to go to a special landing page on the World Wide Web. Be very careful with this — it could depress financial results, even though it gives you a lot of hits. Regardless, it’ll make your organization happy, because every charity wants donors to click on its site. Test it.

9. Re-activate lapsed donors. This has lots of interesting possibilities. It might be more economical to personalize the lift note than the letter itself. Maybe lead off with, “I miss you — I really do!” The lapsed donor will understand where you’re coming from. Throw in some sincere flattery and some dollar amounts.

10. Upgrade active donors. If the lift note is personalized, give the donor a specific challenge, such as a specific dollar amount instead of a range. If it’s not personalized, then do the “this amount, or this amount, or even this amount” act.

11. Try using the cousin of the lift note. The little yellow, sticky Post-it® note. Tip it on the letter. Tip it on the reply device. Tip it on a reply envelope.

For very high-level donors, personalize it. Then put it at the top of the letter. This absolutely guarantees that your letter will be read. For other donors, just print a message saying why it’s important that they read the letter.

And for prospects and donors for whom you can’t afford to spend so much money, simulate a Post-it note by printing it at an angle at the top of your letter. A cheap shot, yes, but it often tests out quite well.

Finally, use your imagination. Innovate.

That’s enough for now. And by the way, that girlfriend I mentioned? On one of my hitchhiking trips, I proposed to her. She said yes. And that gave me real lift.

Jerry Huntsinger is experimenting with telepathy to offset rising postage costs. Until he works it out, he continues to work as a freelancer and as senior creative consultant at Craver, Mathews, Smith & Co. E-mail him at jerryhuntsinger@starband.net.