Overteased and Underwhelmed

Sometimes teasers are like bad pick-up lines. And with the split-second decision your donor makes when she glances at your outer envelope, you don’t get a second chance to talk your way out of a poor first impression … you’ve already been round-filed.

In a recent two-week period, I received 58 pieces of mail. Discounting five self-mailer newsletters, all but four packages had teasers. Very few of them were understated.

Maybe that’s what made the teaser-free packages stand out. There are times, however — particularly with certain offers — when a teaser helps entice your recipient to open the package.

Premium teasers
Three of the 49 packages with teasers offered back-end premiums, and all of them used photos or a description of the premium — an umbrella, a blue-footed booby plush and an “I AM POWERFUL!” scarf.

With the six up-front premium packages, I received three sets of note cards, one zipper pull, a collection of wrapping paper and a bumper sticker. Interestingly, four of the six packages teased with a line about a “gift” or “surprise” enclosed; two said exactly what was offered inside.

I’m not sure how well bumper stickers are working these days, but I have hopes for Sen. Harry Reid’s effort. The bumper sticker he sent me reads, “Give ’Em Hell Harry” with his Web site address.

Classic offers
Like premium offers, there are a few other classics that likely benefit from a teaser. Three teasers announced matching-gift offers — one was an annual fund, and two were personalized, local, door-to-door/neighbor-helping-neighbor drive teasers.

Three packages showed colorful membership cards through a second window in addition to using teasers pointing out the card, along with other directions and information about the contents of the packages.

After that, the teasers are a free-for-all. And not all good. Many did nothing but announce the fact that inside the envelope is a solicitation. Some teasers tried to be clever; others were real head scratchers.

The power of teaserlessness
As an illustration of when forgoing a teaser most likely is in a package’s best interests, consider what I received from political strategist and consultant Mary Matalin a while back.

It’s a simple, baronial closed-face carrier with a live, presorted stamp and mailer’s cancellation. The addressing is done in a blue, handwritten font, and the automation barcode is moved away from the addressing down to the bottom edge of the envelope.

Inside, a four-sheet, eight-page letter signed by Matalin explains the plight of her friend, Scooter Libby. She tells me of his tireless service as Vice President Cheney’s chief of staff and top national security advisor, and about his unwavering commitment to our country. Then she explains that, “Scooter’s world has come crashing down,” and he needs our immediate help.

The letter explains quickly but simply that Libby was put on trial regarding “supposed leaks from the White House.” All of us who followed the story know many people were involved, but the letter is concise and without all the details that could be confusing to recipients who did not follow it closely.

In a nutshell, it explains, “the sad truth is Scooter was tried for having a bad memory about conversations he had with reporters.” Then, and not surprisingly, the letter goes on to say, “The bottom line is ever since the Iraq war began there’s been a band of left-wing activists and liberal members of the media who are intent on bringing our President down. … Scooter has gotten caught in the political crossfire.”

Classic political rhetoric, yet in the context of the whole letter, it’s delivered without any shrieking. It’s not until Page 5 that I’m asked to help fund his defense. And I have to say, this letter is written brilliantly — it endeavors to make me see what happened and feel for Libby long in advance of making a request for a contribution.

The case for support is reinforced with an insert, “What Others Are Saying About Scooter Libby” with quotes that, while far more complicated than the letter’s explanation of events, bolster its points.

I can only think that any teaser on the carrier about Libby, or a legal defense fund or any of the specifics of the case would have had a negative impact and completely undercut the recipient’s experience and reactions once the envelope was opened.

Now, I don’t know if the package worked or not — but I applaud its creators for letting the letter do the work of making the case for support all on its own, minus a tip-off from a teaser.

More than ink on paper
Is there a growing trend out there, that no package is “complete” without a teaser? If so, that’s worrisome.

Without testing the must-have-a-teaser theory on a package-by-package basis, I raise a concern that teasers could hurt more than help. If a teaser doesn’t compel the donor to rip the envelope open, we should ask ourselves, “What’s the point?”

Being creative is fun, but I’ll take boring and effective over creative any day. And these days, if there’s a carrier all but guaranteed to get opened, it’s a plain envelope addressed by hand with a First Class commemorative stamp. You might go with a corner card or not, depending on your brand recognition. But instead of a printed logo, try addressing the corner card by hand, too.

Yes, it’s very expensive. However, even though it might be viable only for a select group of high-dollar donors, that doesn’t mean volume mailings to millions have to be compromised to death and end up looking mass produced, over-designed or overly clever.

Bottom line: When you’re struggling with the teaser and nothing seems right, my guess is you’re stuck in a teaser-for-teaser’s-sake rut. When in doubt, test without. You might be surprised at the results.

Kimberly Seville is a creative strategist and freelance copywriter. She welcomes feedback about your experience with teaser testing. Reach her at kimberlyseville@yahoo.com.