How to Connect With Donors So They’ll Want to Give to Your Nonprofit

Who is this person writing to me? That’s one of the first things a donor would ask after opening your appeal letter or email. Then, that donor will make a judgment: Is this person friendly, standoffish, arrogant, distant, a know-it-all, down to earth, caring, concerned? It’s an impression your donor forms by reading the first few lines of your appeal. 

And that impression is based a lot on the tone of the copywriting, the copy voice. Think of the copy voice as the personality of your appeal. And because your fundraising appeals are often the only thing about your nonprofit that your donor ever sees, the copy voice is the personality of your nonprofit too. It creates an impression that will engage donors or turn them off. 

Consider this example, an appeal about climate change:

Dear Ms. Joan Sample,

I am writing to you today from [charity], a dedicated advocate for climate action and environmental sustainability. As you may know, our planet is facing unprecedented challenges due to climate change, and the need for immediate action has never been more urgent.

At [charity], we are committed to combating climate change through innovative projects, community engagement, and policy advocacy. Our recent initiatives include installing an array of solar panels, which have already made a significant impact. However, to continue this vital work, we need your support.

So, who is this? Someone who’s maybe a little conceited? It’s a lot about them and less about you, the donor. And it’s pretty bland and corporate sounding. It has that press release kind of feel, as if it’s been through the legal department. Impression? Impersonal and blah. Keeps you at arm’s length. Not someone with whom you’d have a heart-to-heart. 

Contrast that copy voice with this one, again about climate change.

Dear Ms. Joan Sample,

I am writing this appeal on a hot July afternoon.

My 11-month-old son is playing at my feet as I do. I look at Joe and I look at the blazing heat outside and I wonder how I can avoid talking about the greenhouse effect in nakedly personal terms. 

But why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I tell you how much I fear for the world we’re preparing for Joe?

So, who is this? It’s a real person expressing a real sentiment about climate change and our future. It’s not cautious. It’s not corporate. It hasn’t been reviewed to death by a committee. It’s honest, relatable, personal and human. It’s someone writing directly to me. (And no, it’s not peppered with “yous.” Copy doesn’t have to be in order to be engaging.) Impression? I’m ready to read more. 

That’s the reaction we want to elicit from donors. Admittedly, it’s not easy to get this right, and it’s something with which many nonprofits struggle.

One reason is that nonprofits feel they must speak from a position of authority about the cause. So they assume an overly formal writing style with big words, long sentences and lengthy paragraphs. But then the appeal letter reads like a corporate memo. 

Even worse, charities often adopt the jargon of their sector in an attempt to seem serious or knowledgeable. So, for example, instead of “hungry” or “starving,” they’ll say “food insecure.” These jargony terms don’t demonstrate the nonprofit’s expertise or its political correctness. Instead, they often confuse and alienate donors. You need to connect with donors, and that doesn’t mean using the latest buzzwords.

Worse still, nonprofit executives often think that the fundraising should adopt their voice. “That letter doesn’t sound like me” is one of the main criticisms of fundraising copy. Sometimes this goes to crazy extremes, like forbidding the use of contractions in letter copy. The problem here is that the president isn’t the donor, and the president’s voice isn’t necessarily the one that’s best suited to an appeal. 

What donors want — and what they respond to — is plain talk. That’s why good fundraising copywriting is write-like-you-talk writing. That means simple words, short sentences and short paragraphs, along with sentence fragments, contractions and the rest. You want a copy voice that’s informal, sincere and conversational. It should seem like a normal, average person talking. Not a preacher, not an expert, not an academic. But a regular, friendly person who’s concerned about an issue and hopes the reader of the letter will be too.

It's all about getting the tone right. With a friendly, conversational copy voice, you’ll build rapport and trust with donors. You’ll build a relationship. And that allows revenue and retention to increase naturally.

The preceding post was provided by an individual unaffiliated with NonProfit PRO. The views expressed within do not directly reflect the thoughts or opinions of NonProfit PRO.